Sometimes this is too easy: The following was copied right off of MSN's homepage this morning.

Healthy Choice:
What is that smell?
Dos & don'ts of office romance
Stuff this package with love
Why they call her 'Slots'
Singing with your pants down

Well it's x-mas eve and I finally have my Christmas Shopping done. Here's my gift list.

President Bush - I got him "Democracy for Dummies" with an arrow on the front cover that indicates this end up.

Laura Bush got an "I'm With Stupid T-Shirt" Pretty sure she now has one for everyday of the year.

I hope Dick Chaney appreciates how many stores I had to go to before I finally found one that wasn't sold out of "How to Field Dress a Lawyer".

President Elect Obama - Gets an empty water cooler bottle to put all his change in.

I got Jimmy Carter something I know he doesn't already have. A clue.

Hillary Clinton will be doing a lot of traveling in her new position so I got her a cup holder that is custom designed to fit right on the end of her broom.

Nancy Pelosi gets a year's supply of Midol and a box of chocolates.

Harry Reed gets some Neuticles.

Al Gore gets a copy of "The Sky is Falling" and a "Hello My Name is Chicken Little" name tag.

I wasn't sure what to get Ted Kennedy but I finally decided on a gun with one bullet and a card that says " It's never too late to do the right thing".

Oprah gets a one size fits all stretchy pantsuit.

Katie Holmes Cruise and Suri get bus tickets to an undisclosed location and new identities.

I got Jessie Jackson a black dreidel.

A-Rod gets instructions on how to give himself the Heimlich before big games.

I got Michael Moore the all you can eat seafood buffet although most of you know it better as the Pacific Ocean.

I got Carrot Top a prop that is guaranteed to make both him and his audience laugh - it's a two way mirror.

I got Brad Pitt a lottery ticket and I know before he scratches it off it's going to be a big winner, lucky bastard.

Finally, I was going to get Madonna some wrinkle removing cream but I was afraid that if she used it she would disappear entirely, so I sent it to Nancy Pelosi instead.

To everyone else I wish a very Safe and Merry Christmas.

Happy Kwanmaskah!