Buck and Eunice White learn they are millionaires after winning the Ohio Lottery. Eunice says the timing couldn't have been better as Buck just lost his stock boy job a couple of months ago for stacking the Ragu Spaghetti Sauce beside the sanitary napkins. Eunice plans to stay home with the kids like she always has and Buck will continue to do odd jobs for beer and cigarette money. They intend to use their windfall to put gold skirting on their trailer and of course buy more lottery tickets.

IN THE NEWS:

BAGHDAD - An Iraqi reporter who threw his shoes at President George W. Bush was being held for questioning by the Iraqi prime minister's guards, an official said Monday. Muntadar al-Zeidi was being interrogated and when asked why he threw his shoes at the President, Mr al-Zeidi responded' "PRESIDENT? I thought it was that terrible actor from Talledega Nights.

LONDON (AP) -- Paul McCartney claims that he was the real politicized figure in The Beatles, not John Lennon, according to an interview published Sunday. McCartney was quoted as saying it was he who first raised concerns over the Vietnam war within the group and advocated their anti-war stance. McCartney went on to say that it was he, rather than George Harrison, who first became inspired by religion. Said McCartney, "I'll Follow the Sun" was really about my acceptance of Jesus Christ as my personal savior." I believe this had a significant impact on young Georgie's desire to emulate me. Asked to comment, former band mate Ringo Starr said, " I guess when I die, he'll be telling everybody he was the Beatle with the big nose".

OTTAWA - Paul Anka's wife was arrested after the Ottawa-born singer was hit in the head by a piece of ice during a recent domestic dispute, but prosecutors say they won't pursue the case.
When asked why she threw the ice, Anna Anka, said I didn't mean to hurt him its just that he's been so depressed lately so this morning I dressed in a sexy negligee and asked him if there was anything special he'd like. He said, "Yeah, I'd like a hit", so I hit him.

TODAY IN HISTORY:

Thomas Edison patents phonograph and James Naismith invents basketball. It is noteworthy because, without these two inventions, unemployment among young minorities would be 55%.

TODAY'S QUOTE:

I don't know Archie, the last time I pulled your finger, we had to repaint the kitchen. - Edith Bunker