A hopeful contestant competes in the swimsuit competition of the Miss Bangladesh beauty contest. In addition to the right to represent her country in the Miss Universe pageant, the winner will receive a bag of rice and a chicken.
Wind knocks out power to 413,000 in Mich.
DETROIT - Wind gusting more than 60 mph knocked out power to about 413,000 Michigan homes and businesses on Sunday. Michigan Govenor Howie Sook declared a state of euphoria as 413,000 homes were spared the embarrassment of having to watch the Lions go 0-16. Longtime Ann Arbor Police Chief, Mason "Blue" Bloze said, " it was tough clearing the streets cuz with all the sucking and blowing going on the students thought the Wolverines were playing and started to tailgate.
Cleveland - Speaking of giant sucking sounds, the Cleveland Browns season mercifully came to an end yesterday with a 31-0 ass whupping courtesy of our hated rivals the Steelers. Browns fans are so frustrated that many turn to religion during these bleak times. The Pope claims his number one prayer request is from Browns fans who want a Super Bowl Winner but he is very sad to report that God spoke to him yesterday and finally said, "I am sorry. I've tried but there is evidently nothing I can do. Please stop wasting my time." Sources close to the team report that in a fit of desperation Cleveland Browns owner Randy Lerner offered his soul to the devil but was advised by Hells Public Relations department that that deal has already been made with Arthur Model.
Viagra Associated With Hearing Loss
The FDA warns that the use of Viagra can result in a loss of hearing as well as blurred vision. Pfizer spokesman Eric Sean Fuller confirmed the FDA findings by saying, "duh, why do you think it works".
ON THIS DATE:
Jewish prankster Shecky Beerstein threw his voice behind a burning bush and told Moses to go take a hike.
TODAY"S QUOTE:
Sorry Bono but all the money in the world won't reduce AIDS in Africa unless the people stop fucking monkeys - The Edge
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