IN THE NEWS:



The House of Representatives passed a bill intended to try and save the US auto industry Wednesday night, however the measure is expected to meet strong resistance from Senate Republicans. If successful, Republicans are expected to celebrate by meeting in the park to throw snowballs at the elderly.



Anonymous sources say Hugh Hefner is taking advantage of falling stock prices to buy up shares of McDonalds. If Mr. Hefner is successful in obtaining a majority interest, the rumor is he'll put nipples on top of the Golden Arches.
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In a rare show of bipartisanship, President Bush and Congressman Dennis Kucinnich meet with the press to discuss the need to help the troubled auto industry.





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THIS DAY IN HISTORY:



2002
A congressional report found that intelligence agencies before Sept. 11, 2001, were poorly organized, poorly equipped and slow to act. They concluded that these traits made the leaders of these agencies unfit to serve their country in any other capacity than as congressmen.

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TODAY'S QUOTE:



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_ (Karl Wallenda)