IN THE NEWS:
Annonymous souces confirm that Comedienne Rosie O’Donnell and her partner Kelli Carpenter are looking to adopt another child.
GAZA (Reuters) – Israel on Wednesday rebuffed French calls for a 48-hour humanitarian truce in the Gaza Strip and stepped up preparations for a possible ground offensive after Hamas's long-range rockets hit a major population center. Israeli General Ivan Tecuetdeirbolszoff said accepting military advice from France would be like accepting dieting tips from Michael Moore.
Woman, 88, gives naked intruder the ‘squeeze’
PORTLAND, Ore. - 88 year young Anita Mann was furious yesterday when police arrested a naked man who broke into her apartment and accosted her. In her statement to police Mann said, "I've gone though a lot of hard times and disappointment during my 88 years and God finally answers a prayer and I got the guy in a death grip he'll never escape from and you muckity mucks come along and screw it up".
NEW YORK, NY Madison Avenue executive, Will Selum has issued his "Worst Named Products" list for 2008. They are as follows:
5) Manwich
4) Zagnuts
3) Harry's Cheese Balls
2) Grey Poupon
1) Ragu
Following this announcement Ragu and Grey Poupon issued a statement of their own announcing that they have formed a joint venture to market a new gravy named Barf.
In keeping with the "food that looks like its name theme" employed by it's parents Barf will be a dull brownish color with little chunks of meat .
ON THIS DATE:
1862
President Abraham Lincoln signed an act admitting West Virginia to the Union after he lost a coin flip with Jefferson Davis.
TOAY"S QUOTE:
Give a man some corn and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to plant it and he'll steal your land and call it Massachusetts - Squanto
GAZA (Reuters) – Israel on Wednesday rebuffed French calls for a 48-hour humanitarian truce in the Gaza Strip and stepped up preparations for a possible ground offensive after Hamas's long-range rockets hit a major population center. Israeli General Ivan Tecuetdeirbolszoff said accepting military advice from France would be like accepting dieting tips from Michael Moore.
Woman, 88, gives naked intruder the ‘squeeze’
PORTLAND, Ore. - 88 year young Anita Mann was furious yesterday when police arrested a naked man who broke into her apartment and accosted her. In her statement to police Mann said, "I've gone though a lot of hard times and disappointment during my 88 years and God finally answers a prayer and I got the guy in a death grip he'll never escape from and you muckity mucks come along and screw it up".
NEW YORK, NY Madison Avenue executive, Will Selum has issued his "Worst Named Products" list for 2008. They are as follows:
5) Manwich
4) Zagnuts
3) Harry's Cheese Balls
2) Grey Poupon
1) Ragu
Following this announcement Ragu and Grey Poupon issued a statement of their own announcing that they have formed a joint venture to market a new gravy named Barf.
In keeping with the "food that looks like its name theme" employed by it's parents Barf will be a dull brownish color with little chunks of meat .
ON THIS DATE:
1862
President Abraham Lincoln signed an act admitting West Virginia to the Union after he lost a coin flip with Jefferson Davis.
TOAY"S QUOTE:
Give a man some corn and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to plant it and he'll steal your land and call it Massachusetts - Squanto
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