Well I'm just too busy with my real job to post a blog today so I figured I'd get a guest blogger to fill in for me.

I called Carlos Mencia but he said he has been so busy Christmas shopping that he hasn't had the time to steal any new jokes lately so he just doesn't have any material.

Tommy Chong kept saying Don ain't here and hanging up on me.

I asked Sienfeld but he went on and on about what is a blog, why do they call it a blog, etc. etc. so finally I had to say "no blog for you".

Michael Richardson's agent said a Chinaman cut Michael off then flipped him the bird on his way into the city this morning . So he's afraid to let him make any public appearances today.

Word got around to Carrot Top and he called me to offer his services so I had to explain that I wanted someone with a sense of humor. I did ask him if he thought his plastic surgeon might be interested. I can't print his response here. Not because it was too dirty but it just wasn't funny.

Any way I called a bunch of other people but most of them have taken the holidays off or they are working on their own Christmas specials.

Finally, I thought of the one funny person who had absolutely nothing to do.

So without further adieu, I give you the President of the United States.

George W. Bush.

Hello my Fellow Americans

Man it's cold out there. ( heh, heh, heh how cold is it?)

It's so cold I overheard Dick Cheney and Condolezza Rice talking about the weather and I thought they were discussing Congress' approval rating.

It's so cold that if the Cleveland Browns played the weather today, they would only lose by three points.

It's so cold, I saw a snowman trying to build a fire.

It was so, cold Dick Chaney's false teeth were chattering in the glass.

It's so cold, the turkey I pardoned for Thanksgiving stuffed himself with chilli peppers and jumped in the turkey fryer.

It's so cold the eternal flame at JFK's grave is wearing a hat and mittens.

It's so cold Hillary put on leg warmers. Which came as a surprise to Bill who said he thought she always wore leg warmers.

and finally it's so cold that Astronomers announced the discovery of two more rings of ice crystals encircling Uranus ( heh, heh, heh, ice crystals encirling your anus.....get it.)

Your friend and President.
George W. Bush